Performed by Kick Theatre
Unity Theatre, Hope Place
Wed 22nd - Fri 24th September 2010

Reviewed by Tracey Dunn

Kick Theatre fill the Unity stage with devil type masks on metal stands,lit church candles and three black chairs. It is dark. There is also a big red square curtain at the back like the gateway to hell. Red lights fade up.

Here are frightening characters dressed in red capes with black eye masks who hiss and crawl around the stage and along with an ordinary couple they perform a slashed wrist dance along to firestarter by the Prodigy after a gentle warm up with funky gregorian chants.

Cynthia Petula Parsons is in hell after writing a suicide note. "Please bury me upside down so the world can kiss my arse". Lucy(short for Lucifer ) appears in her devilish garb and offers to help Cyn get spotted by her office colleague Nathan, who Cyn believes does not even notice her.It's the reason why she has given up on life.

After a bit of a scary group dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller, 'Envy' appears moaning and sulking. She has been enlisted by the devil Lucy to help Cynthia catch the love of her life. You must find someone else to get loved up with, make Nathan jealous". Before you know it 'Envy' puts on a comedy nose and glasses and is smooching up to Cyn, pretending she's a guy and they're a couple. They sit in a cafe where |Nathan notices them and asks her if she's okay as she looks a bit edgy. Envy ends up jealous at this intrusion and storms off the stage in a huff.

More dancing to a poseurs classic Madonna tune. 'Vogue', the ultimate tune to celebrate self love. 'Pride' arrives sassily from behind the red curtain to transform Cyn into a confident and attractive woman. As 'Pride' disinfects Cyn she gets her to repeat "I am beautiful, I am beautiful". 'Sloth' arrives spitting, dressed in his crumpled dressing gown and moaning at Cynthia while being extremely unhelpful. Devily kids mass onstage and do a devil dance as Cynthia gets glammed up. Nathan appears and tells her she's pretty but is put off by her new found pride, he just wants her to be nice again. 'Greed' makes an appearance and drags Cynthia off on a shopping trip. "You don't need love, companionship and warmth, need presents! shopping, and lots of it, brings joy"

Cynthia fantasises about ranches, horses and tennis courts as 'Sloth' reappears to carry her bags after being forced to by 'Greed'. Nathan comes in and sits down next to Cynthia who is boasting away to their friends about all the material goods they now own. "I own several national banks" she boasts. "Oh", her friend replies, "so basically you screw people". Nathan is furious and stomps off telling her that it's not important what they've got.

Here comes 'Gluttony' who tells her that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomache. By this point Cynthia is beside herself. She doesn't know what to do and panics. She is asked why she is bothering to change her clothes, "men never notice these things". 'Sloth' then tells her to just "lie around,hire a cleaner". Nathan asks Cynthia for a meal but she's been busy. "Triple Jeremy Kyle on for a start". Things aren't looking good and Nathan leaves telling her that he is not coming back.

'Wrath' strides on aggressively and pulls Cynthia apart. She wants her to be more daring and dangerous but Cynthia is desperate for things to go back to the way things were. In the next scene Lucy the devil is back but is tired of her wicked life and knows if she performs just one good deed she can go back to heaven. She changes her garb into a plain red shift and dances under swathes of grey cloth, held by demon kids, in the shape of a cross winding around her to religious chanting, looks like she has seen the light. 'Wrath' returns really angry threatening to torture and kill Cynthia but 'Lust' is now on stage in his lairy purple pulling outfit trying to get Cynthia to look sexy by removing her glasses. He teaches her a slinky walk and gets her to loosen up with some Barry White music.

Cyn visits a club where women dance erotically wrapped around chairs to the Kinks 'You really got me'. Nathan arrives and is really embarrassed by the scene and falls over. 'Lust' can't believe his luck and takes the chance to steal Nathan away in his arms.He just can't control his lust!

We're now back to Cynthia being tortured by the evil 'Wrath' in her punky outfit who wants to cause mayhem and terror beyond your wildest dreams. She tells Cyn to kill Nathan and shows her a box containing a fresh beating heart. The devil returns with all the deadly sins after the stage has dimmed and a huge spider has crawled scarily on. The devil gets rid of 'Wrath' as 'Gluttony' and 'Love' offer "oysters for love" to Cynthia.

Suddenly we are in the hospital and Cynthia is stirring from her bed. The doctor,who looks suspiciously like the devil tells her she has post traumatic stress disorder. She tells her that she actually died, "it must have been HELL for you". The doctor points out that Nathan is outside waiting to see her. "You're in safe hands now" she says as Pete Wylie's song 'Sinful' plays to end the deadly drama.

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