Performed by Kick Theatre
Wed 22nd - Fri 24th September 2010
Kick Theatre fill the Unity stage with devil type masks on metal stands,lit
church candles and three black chairs. It is dark. There is also a big
red square curtain at the back like the gateway to hell. Red lights fade
Here are frightening characters dressed in red capes with black eye masks
who hiss and crawl around the stage and along with an ordinary couple
they perform a slashed wrist dance along to firestarter by the Prodigy
after a gentle warm up with funky gregorian chants.
Cynthia Petula Parsons is in hell after writing a suicide note. "Please
bury me upside down so the world can kiss my arse". Lucy(short for
Lucifer ) appears in her devilish garb and offers to help Cyn get spotted
by her office colleague Nathan, who Cyn believes does not even notice
her.It's the reason why she has given up on life.
After a bit of a scary group dance to Michael Jackson's Thriller, 'Envy'
appears moaning and sulking. She has been enlisted by the devil Lucy to
help Cynthia catch the love of her life. You must find someone else to
get loved up with, make Nathan jealous". Before you know it 'Envy'
puts on a comedy nose and glasses and is smooching up to Cyn, pretending
she's a guy and they're a couple. They sit in a cafe where |Nathan notices
them and asks her if she's okay as she looks a bit edgy. Envy ends up
jealous at this intrusion and storms off the stage in a huff.
More dancing to a poseurs classic Madonna tune. 'Vogue', the ultimate
tune to celebrate self love. 'Pride' arrives sassily from behind the red
curtain to transform Cyn into a confident and attractive woman. As 'Pride'
disinfects Cyn she gets her to repeat "I am beautiful, I am beautiful".
'Sloth' arrives spitting, dressed in his crumpled dressing gown and moaning
at Cynthia while being extremely unhelpful. Devily kids mass onstage and
do a devil dance as Cynthia gets glammed up. Nathan appears and tells
her she's pretty but is put off by her new found pride, he just wants
her to be nice again. 'Greed' makes an appearance and drags Cynthia off
on a shopping trip. "You don't need love, companionship and warmth,
NO...you need presents! shopping, and lots of it, brings joy"
Cynthia fantasises about ranches, horses and tennis courts as 'Sloth'
reappears to carry her bags after being forced to by 'Greed'. Nathan comes
in and sits down next to Cynthia who is boasting away to their friends
about all the material goods they now own. "I own several national
banks" she boasts. "Oh", her friend replies, "so basically
you screw people". Nathan is furious and stomps off telling her that
it's not important what they've got.
Here comes 'Gluttony' who tells her that the best way to a man's heart
is through his stomache. By this point Cynthia is beside herself. She
doesn't know what to do and panics. She is asked why she is bothering
to change her clothes, "men never notice these things". 'Sloth'
then tells her to just "lie around,hire a cleaner". Nathan asks
Cynthia for a meal but she's been busy. "Triple Jeremy Kyle on for
a start". Things aren't looking good and Nathan leaves telling her
that he is not coming back.
'Wrath' strides on aggressively and pulls Cynthia apart. She wants her
to be more daring and dangerous but Cynthia is desperate for things to
go back to the way things were. In the next scene Lucy the devil is back
but is tired of her wicked life and knows if she performs just one good
deed she can go back to heaven. She changes her garb into a plain red
shift and dances under swathes of grey cloth, held by demon kids, in the
shape of a cross winding around her to religious chanting, looks like
she has seen the light. 'Wrath' returns really angry threatening to torture
and kill Cynthia but 'Lust' is now on stage in his lairy purple pulling
outfit trying to get Cynthia to look sexy by removing her glasses. He
teaches her a slinky walk and gets her to loosen up with some Barry White
Cyn visits a club where women dance erotically wrapped around chairs
to the Kinks 'You really got me'. Nathan arrives and is really embarrassed
by the scene and falls over. 'Lust' can't believe his luck and takes the
chance to steal Nathan away in his arms.He just can't control his lust!
We're now back to Cynthia being tortured by the evil 'Wrath' in her punky
outfit who wants to cause mayhem and terror beyond your wildest dreams.
She tells Cyn to kill Nathan and shows her a box containing a fresh beating
heart. The devil returns with all the deadly sins after the stage has
dimmed and a huge spider has crawled scarily on. The devil gets rid of
'Wrath' as 'Gluttony' and 'Love' offer "oysters for love" to
Suddenly we are in the hospital and Cynthia is stirring from her bed.
The doctor,who looks suspiciously like the devil tells her she has post
traumatic stress disorder. She tells her that she actually died, "it
must have been HELL for you". The doctor points out that Nathan is
outside waiting to see her. "You're in safe hands now" she says
as Pete Wylie's song 'Sinful' plays to end the deadly drama.