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Back to index of Nerve 22 - Summer 2013
Housing Crumble
A
recipe by Chris
Allen
Image by Zoé S Hji-Christoforou
INGREDIENTS:
4 FRUMPs (Formerly Radical Upwardly Mobile Professors)
1 stock of knowledge (neo-liberal)
Mixed Verbs and Crises
1 Government Department
1 Construction Company Away Day
Government Research Grants (the more the better)
Sycophants (more is better)
3 Visiting Professorial Positions
0 Peer-reviewed academic publications
METHOD:
Take the FRUMPs and peel the outer layer of Radical Marxism away. Discard the Radical Marxism peel in the bin because you will not need it any more. This will leave you with the FRUMP itself.
Season the FRUMPs with the following Verbs and Crises: 'Housing market failure', 'Obsolete housing', 'Housing demolition', 'Housing clearance', 'Housing Consumers', 'Urban professionals', 'Housing market dynamics'.
Now leave the FRUMPs to stand in a government department for three years until the seasoning has sunk in. Ensure that the government department includes a warm and dry environment such as a Major Construction Company 'Away Day' in July.
Now place the FRUMPs in a pan and add a stock of knowledge. This must be neo-liberal stock.
As the FRUMPs are absorbing the neo-liberal stock, prepare the crumble topping. For this you will need plenty of government research funding which must be mixed with several sycophants and numerous visiting professorial positions. You must ensure that the visiting professorial positions are added to the mix without any peer-reviewed academic publications. Now give it a good stir so that it forms into an Ego.
Return to the FRUMPs. Whilst your back has been turned the FRUMPs will have expanded into neo-liberal Bullies as they have taken on the neo-liberal stock. Now place them in a Public Inquiry dish. Pour the Ego over the Bullies and bake in a Legal Oven for 6 months.
Now remove the Public Inquiry Dish from the Legal Oven. You have created a delicious new compulsory purchase order. This is best enjoyed with a Bottle of 'Several Thousand Emptied Houses' and a side order of 'Several Thousand Destroyed Lives'. Remember to have a good laugh whilst enjoying the fruits of your labour.
Chris Allen is author of Housing Market Renewal and Social Class. London, Routledge.
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